I understood the stillness above the sky
but never the words of men.

- Friedrich Hölderlin, Selected Poems and Fragments

(Source: mythologyofblue, via traversant)

As a teacher, I often see things in kids that no one else can see. Several times, I have driven home crying because I hurt so bad for a student who is struggling. Parent-teacher conferences are never easy, but sometimes, they are heartbreaking.

Today has been the hardest IEP meeting I have ever attended. I want to make everything better for this student. I want to heal his pain and to take away his fears. I have made accommodations for him throughout this year, but perhaps the accommodations I was giving weren’t what he needed.

I know his strengths and his passions, and I have seen pieces of his heart. I know he loves his baby sister more than anything in the world. I know that when he is working on cars, he is following his bliss. He is an incredible artist and his thoughts are deep. He scored higher on the mock writing assessment than any of my other students in any other class, but the battles he faces inside himself and at outside of school prevent him from being able to keep up with everything this rigorous charter school demands. He is not like the others, yet we still hold him to an unachievable standard. I thought I was doing everything that I could, but I wasn’t.

I know now what I can do to help him, but I hope it isn’t too late. I know he will pass my class. He is brilliant in my class. But what of his other classes? His greatest fear is that he will have to go back to an alternative school. All I can do is pray to God that wherever he goes from here, he will be protected and safe. He deserves better than what he has been given. I want better for him.

…is now my fiance! I could not be happier! I could not have envisioned a better match for myself. If I’d had the option to whip up “the perfect man” from scratch, I’d have messed it up. Timothy was dropped into my universe by a force beyond me. When we met 6 years ago, I never ever would have guessed that we’d end up together. It is nice to be here now, to be able to look back on my life and see the loops and turns that lead me to him. It finally feels so right.

On Sunday, April 22nd, my 26th birthday, Earth Day, our 3 year & 3 month anniversary, and the greatest day of the year as far as I’m concerned, Timothy proposed to me. We woke up and ate breakfast: biscuits, jelly, sausage and eggs. Then, we filled up our water bottles and hopped on our bikes to ride to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens.

There are few things I love more than a bike ride in a beautiful park with him. After biking to the gardens, walking about halfway through the park, and grabbing a yummy snack at MetroFresh, we stopped to rest in the Japanese Garden. We sat on a bench under an awning overlooking the garden, and when we were alone he said, “I want to give you your birthday present.” I squirmed a little and probably turned red because I am awkward like that, and by the time he got on his knee, I was squeezing my fists to hold all the happy inside. He took the ring out of the zippered pocket of his green track jacket, and said “Will you marry me?” Of course, he knew I’d say yes. And I did.

Tbc..